Hrm. I
don't know if it's something karmic I need to work through or if its just something in the stars (or what), but lately (well, maybe longer than lately) I've been feeling sort of at a
disjunct with my life. Today especially, I feel like my life has no purpose, direction, or what ever.
I
don't know if its b/c I
don't have a definite long term plan for myself or what. Yes there are things I desire to have and have as goals, but with no dead line. Maybe if I have an actual timeline, things might be going better for me??? Who knows.
It would be great to be married by the time I'm 30 (granted it would be just as totally awesome to even get a date, but
marriage would be even cooler), have my own place (own, not rent), have a full-time job I love doing that has
benefits (like health care, dental, etc), be at the point where it's only my student loans as my only debt, have a new fuel
efficient car and have it be 100% paid for (it'd be cool if it could run on
biodiesel, so that way I could get my gas for free, granted I would need to have a system set up to convert the
vegetable oils into
biodiesel), and so on and so forth.
In terms of a job, I want it to be fairly
flexible as to what I do, and how I set up my
schedule (i.e. if I'm
suppose to put in a 40 hr work week, I could do 12 hrs one day and 4 the next, or what ever).
*le sigh* I am just hoping and praying that it's something karmic I'm working through and everything will be better (emotionall and financially) for me VERY VERY soon.
I should probably be doing a vision board to help me with this. Even if it means drawing on it with markers or what ever (instead of just waiting to get photos from magazines or newspapers).
Well, blogging about it does help me feel a little better, but it's definately not the end solution.